You are your worst critic. Cliche but true, too often we think to ourselves: i can’t do anything right. Why do I even bother? I thought it would be different this time. The main reasoning behind these thoughts is the way we see ourselves in relation to the world around us. Too often we tell ourselves what he should do, what we should look like, what we should be and it creates a mindset of “not enough”. We are enforcing the disabling belief that there is some mystical ideal that we just must be able to meet! And it hurts us. Creating stress and anguish where there was none before, essentially pulling our mood down along with our self perception. By being so harsh on ourselves, we subconsciously enforce the idea that we are not enough, thus creating a cycle of negativity that prevents us from growing and accomplishing what we want. This cycle is a dangerous one that usually stems from many areas of insecurity, worry, and plain old over-criticism.
Its a tough habit to break but one of the ways to start trying to introduce positive thought is be eliminating the word should and replace it with could. Instead of I should go to that party, everyone else is, think to yourself I could go out to that party, but maybe I want to do this instead. Doing this creates the notion of options that help you assess a situation and remove pressure from yourself. Rather than forcing yourself into a situation you’re unprepared for, you remove the urgency simply by saying to yourself you could do something else. You can say I can/could rather than I should/ have to when it comes to various things in life.
Warning: This is not an excuse to procrastinate! I know you’re thinking of how easily you can apply this to a situation of a deadline, telling yourself you could do the project or watch that repeat showing of Inception. By doing this you’re only creating a situation in which you’ll lose in the long run (and that will just ruin your positive thinking won’t it!)
Instead, tell yourself: If I could just finish this project I can go about my business. This keeps you on top of the work you need to accomplish while giving you a goal/reward for its completion!